Thee Comic Column #147 – Man Vs. Rock

Man vs. RockWhatever you are doing, stop. No really, STOP. Go to the windows and carefully pull down the shade or shut the blinds. Did anyone see you? No? Are you sure? Because there are eyes and ears everywhere. Well, not eyes and ears per se, but there are people watching. Well, not people per se. Not people but ROCKS.

F$*K YOU ROCKS!

So says Professor Buck Stone, the one man who stands between humanity and a malevolent, invading force of rocks! They’re everywhere, all around us, and they’re tired of taking our shit! Now the rocks are going to make us pay and…

Delusional? What? Hey, maybe you’re in on it too! Maybe the rocks have gotten to you! Maybe you’re one of them, eh? One of those filthy, human-hating mother rockers who lay with other men’s wives and plot to steal the breath from their lungs while they sleep.

Oh, wait. That’s cats that do the breath thing, so that’s cool. But this other stuff. Oh the humanity!

All I can tell you is the indie comic DELIGHT called Man Vs. Rock has opened my eyes to what’s really going on around us on this rock-strewn planet, and now that I’ve seen the truth I have to spread the word. Too many innocents could be caught unaware at any minute by these foul fiends. Good citizens of the Earth I implore you, for your own safety, for the safety of your children, and their children, and your pets and dryers and waffle irons, PLEASE go to Man Vs. Rock’s website and read more about the dangers awaiting us should we not take heed this very day and take up arms against THE ROCKS!

And I swear by all that I hold holy – which is really just one well past expired commemorative jar of Miracle Whip from the 1984 Olympics – you will laugh your gotdamned arse off while doing so. The authors of this four volume informational pamphlet, (think of it as a Chick comic about the the REAL evil in the world!), Messrs. Victor Detroy, Kevin Bieber and Jared Lamp, know the importance of the information they’re disseminating here, and they know how the world likes to blow off threats (Just look at how we’ve ignored the threat of Jared Leto for so many years) so they’ve found a way to educate the people of the world while entertaining them. But make no mistake, as much fun as you will have reading Man Vs. Rock – and you WILL have fun damnit! – by the time you reach the end of the second volume you will understand the danger that surrounds our every waking moment. And by the time you finish the final volume, you will know how to proceed so that you can protect your family and friends. It’s not as difficult as you might think and hey, it involves explosives and they’re fun as hell!

Still don’t believe in the threat posed by Rocks? I’ll let Buck convince you.

Buck says

……………….

Can’t find a comic shop? You can always use old reliable Comic Shop Locator at 1-800-COMIC-BOOK. Or you can take some of my recommendations. If you live in the greater Chicagoland area I recommend any of the wonderful four locations of Amazing Fantasy Books. In Los Angeles it’s The Comic Bug. Las Vegas it’s Alternate Reality Comics. San Francisco? Try the Isotope Comic Lounge and if you happen to venture a little further North I’d say you have to visit The Escapist Comic Book Store in Berkley (with the wonderful Dark Carnival Books next door and owned by the same folks). Read on!!!

Shawn C Baker

Shawn C Baker

Shawn lives in Los Angeles where he co-hosts Drinking w/ Comics, writes screenplays and fiction and has been known to drink quite a bit of beer. Good beer.

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