No Press Badge? No Problem: An Unadulterated Mini-Tour through SXSW 2015

Downtown Boys

Downtown Boys

Well, we tried.  After hitting up a yearly cavalcade of free parties, in-stores, shows, and events at SXSW here in Austin for the last decade and a half, we (your fine friends at Joup) thought we would try to get actual credentials, to get in the middle of things, to groove, and to get me square up the ass of this annual Texas music festival/circus/shit-storm.  I was ready to cozy up to corporate sponsors.  I was ready to meet and interview all the rocking kids out there that make me feel old.  I was ready to drink.  I was ready to schmooze.  Well, we tried.

Live from Squaresville: A SXSW Odyssey in Multiple Parts (Phase 6)

Coachwhips

Coachwhips

And our story, our adventure, our foray into the liver damaging, hipter sighting, ear piercing melee that is Austin during SXSW comes to its inevitable close.  This city is going to smell like a dumpster that hobos urinate in for the next 48 hours, but eventually it subsides.  The tents and stages come down.  Beer is no longer free (but on the plus side, non-free beer is no longer marked up 50%).  The vultures are circling.  The circus left town.  And in a year, we’ll all do this again.

Live from Squaresville: A SXSW Odyssey in Multiple Parts (Phase 5)

Gruff Rhys

Gruff Rhys

Okay.  It’s time to be honest with myself.  I am not as young or able bodied as i’d like to continue thinking I am.  These things happen.  I’m just so very, very tired.  SXSW has the upper hand now.  Whatever you do, don’t look at what’s in the box!

Live from Squaresville: A SXSW Odyssey in Multiple Parts (Phase 4)

Melissa Etheridge rocking Tom Petty with The Midgetmen and Diarrhea Planet

Melissa Etheridge rocking Tom Petty with The Midgetmen and Diarrhea Planet

Last night, a piece of human garbage named Rashad Charjuan Owens got drunk, drove his car, fled from police, and plowed through a blocked off street killing two people and injuring another 23.  In light of that, it doesn’t really feel right to go into any detail about all the fun happenings around Austin today.  A cloud and a general somberness kind of hung over most of the day’s events, but everyone also just seemed a little friendlier today.  There’s a collective numbness that usually occurs after a tragedy, but there can also be a collective oneness as well.  Even in the darkness you can feel the love.  Thoughts, prayers, and love to everybody.

Live from Squaresville: A SXSW Odyssey in Multiple Parts (Phase 3)

Crowd of onlookers at The Mohawk

Crowd of onlookers at The Mohawk

Huey Lewis and The News are not playing a free show on the roof of Whole Foods.  Daft Punk are not playing a free show on the steps of the state capital building.  The word spreads faster than a planet decimating virus, but i can assure you, as adamant as the weirdo getting you hyped for some classic jams by Mr. Lewis and his News may be, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  He is just the latest peg in a long line of false stories, hopes, and dreams.  If you go to Whole Foods, there will be no “Power of Love.”  No “Hip to be Square.”  No “Heart of Rock and Roll.”  So just stay where you are and enjoy the show you chose to attend in the first place.  Unless you’re a “Belieber.”  Because that story about Justin Bieber showing up and performing at Bangers is true.  Terribly, terribly true.

Live from Squaresville: A SXSW Odyssey in Multiple Parts (Phase 2)

I will not judge people based solely on their appearances.  I will not let a stupid haircut dictate how I feel about a stranger.  I will not mock.  I will not sneer.  I will not shake my head or slap it with an open palm.  This is my mantra.  SXSW is officially underway.

The Happen-Ins

The Happen-Ins

Translate