Endless Loop: I’m So Tired

fugaziHave you ever had one of those songs that gets stuck in your head for days…weeks…years? Sure you have. These are the songs that always make the cut. The songs on repeat. We all have them. I have a ton. Welcome back to Endless Loop.

“I’m So Tired” by Fugazi

I have a headache. (TEXT MESSAGE) I’m overstressed, every sense in my body on a constant high alert of media updates, electronic noises, and manufactured significance. (PHONE CALL) Granted, it’s an existence I created for myself (TEXT MESSAGE), as we all do to a degree, living in the 21st century (TEXT MESSAGE). Every second and every minute (FACEBOOK NOTICE), every hour and every day is filled to the brim with an endless supply of media demands and notifications (TEXT MESSAGE), our heads becoming eternal spam folders, (COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCEMENT) an overstuffed mailbox of flesh and bone (TWITTER NOTICE). I can feel myself (FACEBOOK NOTICE) starting to crack (PHONE CALL) under the weight (TWITTER NOTICE) of it all (FACEBOOK NOTICE). And I do it to myself (COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCEMENT). I got a cell phone. I joined Facebook. (FACEBOOK NOTICE) I got a Twitter account. I watch TV, and surf the web (PHONE CALL), and watch the news, and get absorbed by so much media (COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCEMENT) everyday. (TWITTER NOTICE) I did this. Me. And I’m about (TEXT MESSAGE) ready to just turn the whole thing off and drop (FACEBOOK NOTICE) out. I need to take a break.

I’m so tired.

This song has absolutely nothing to do with the above diatribe.

It’s kind of funny that for a band known for their DIY, post-hardcore punk aesthetic, it’s Fugazi’s quiet and somber lo-fi piano track, “I’m So Tired,” from 1999’s Instrument Soundtrack, that has really made the greatest impression on me. I’ve always had a thing for audio downers, and Ian Mackaye’s brief but beautiful piano ballad of isolation, surrender, and possibly suicide continually strikes the right nerves. It sounds like the lament of somebody who is already broken, of somebody who cannot be repaired or retrieved from the depths, and of somebody who does not care to be anyway.

And so, I listen to Fugazi as I consider shutting out the media noise for a little while. I probably just need some sleep. This will all start again in the morning.

“I’m so tired, sheep are counting me.”


Thomas H Williams

Thomas H Williams

From a bunker somewhere in Central Texas, Thomas H. Williams spends most of his time with his wife, his two sons, and his increasingly neurotic dog. He listens to a lot of music, drinks a lot of excellent beers, and gets out from time to time. For even more shenanigans, visit heavenisanincubator.blogspot.com.

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