Drinking, Fighting, Fucking and Crying Title

Drinking, Fighting, F*&king, and Crying

Pit NinjaFile this one under: Ninja Fail.

Way back when Type O Negative’s second album, October Rust came out, they toured through Chicago a lot. And I think I went to see them every time. That’s how much I loved that band – still do. One of the shows I remember best was Type O and Life of Agony at Chicago’s Vic Theatre. It was a great show, Peter Steele in fine form as usual, a constantly likeable front man who both intimidated and amused the crowd. On this tour, the band mostly played tracks from October Rust and Bloody Kisses, tapping into only two songs from their debut album, Slow, Deep and Hard. Great show. But we’re not really here to talk about Type O Negative. We’re here to talk about fighting.

In those days I was always front and center down in the pit, and when you’re thrashing around like a maniac, listening to one of your favorite bands, things can get crazy. Now, I always tried to maintain a sense of camaraderie in these communal aggression showers, but I cannot say the same for everyone else I encountered therein. Anyone that’s been in a pit has seen them – the guys who try and take charge; bully others, and just generally look for an excuse to start an actual, full-on fist fight amidst all the other people just looking to let off a little steam and have some fun. On this particular night there were two guys – one was the archetypal Pit Bully, a big, bald, goatee-and-tattoo MF right outta a Pantera show. The other was a smaller guy, hopping around like Spiderman, who was wearing a ninja mask and kicking people in the back.

Yes, you heard that right – this guy was wearing a freakin’ ninja mask in the pit. Unbelievable, right?

Well, what wasn’t unbelievable was the fact that at some point, these two were just gonna have to collide. And when they did, wow. These two douchebags, throwing punches and kicks at everyone around them, finally ended up face to face; the entire pit stopped – hell, I almost want to say the band, who were playing a slightly abbreviated version of Der Untermensch, had a momentary flub while they trained their eyes on this spectacle – and watched as the Pit Ninja and Pantera Dude came to brief blows, stopped and faced off with one another. I remember that moment as an exaggeratedly long still, the guy in the mask and the guy without the mask staring at each other, each about to make a move but waiting for the other, potential energy swelling. Then the Ninja raised his arms and made the double-handed, “Bring it” motion and … wait for it… the Pantera Guy took one step forward and clocked the Ninja so hard he dropped straight to the ground.

And and instant later everyone went on moshing and having a good time, Pantera guy suddenly disappearing, as if he had only been there to quell the frenzy of the Ninja.

Lesson? Don’t act like an ass in the pit, and if you wear a Ninja mask, be sure you can back that shit up!

Next week: Time to FUCK!!!

Shawn C Baker

Shawn C Baker

Shawn lives in Los Angeles where he co-hosts Drinking w/ Comics, writes screenplays and fiction and has been known to drink quite a bit of beer. Good beer.

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