Your Fucked Up Childhood #2: ‘The Adventures of Mark Twain’ A.K.A ‘Comet Quest’

Satan

So I’m watching the Oscars Sunday night… Nah, I’m not. For one, I live in England, so I’d have to stay up until midnight just to see what ridiculously price-tagged fabric some people who ‘play pretend’ for a living decided to adorn their gorgeous torso-with before dawdling on a red pile tongue. Secondly, no one starts winning anything significant until 2am GMT, then it’s about 4 before I get to see the people I think are moderately deserving of an anthropomorphic golden dildo get overlooked.

The Sunday Song Poem #4 Ralph Lowe ‘The Crime Shows’

ralphThere are eight million stories in the naked city…” Pfft, baloney, eight million my eye, what gives – you got smog in the noggin? There are two, just two.

Despite continued attempts by those Godless, whore-mongering, smut pedlars at HBO, to debase the genre with real actors and creators with integrity who refuse to hand over their baby to some committee of bastard hacks to cack-handedly lop off the head of the Golden Goose of a good idea, and smash its egg into a potentially endless series of seasons of 20-odd advertisement peppered pieces, there are but two stories in any Crime drama, and you’re going to shut your yap, sit there and listen while Ralph Lowe spoon-feeds you the skinny, capisce?

The Sunday Song Poem #3 Dick Kent ‘Octopus Woman Please Let Me Go’

mh2

Safety Reminder:

As with beaches everywhere, beware of possible hazards, including slippery rocks, crumbling cliffs, and sneaker waves (large waves that seemingly surge out of nowhere). Our clean clear waters are cold (52-54 degrees Fahrenheit) so wetsuits are essential for swimming, surfing, or diving. Keeping children (and dogs) out of the water during big surf days is just good commonsense.

“Be Swept Away by the Beauty Not By the Waves” – Mendocino Coast Water Safety Coalition

Your Fucked Up Childhood #1 Jack Prelutsky ‘The Ghoul’

The Ghoul

This Be The Verse
BY PHILIP LARKIN

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

The Sunday Song Poem #2: David Fox/Caglar Juan Singletary ‘Non-Violent Taekwondo Troopers’

 

songpoem2

Throughout the course of reacquainting myself with the genre for this column, I discovered that Song Poems (or ‘Song Sharking’ as it was referred to by jaded contributors to the industry) are 100 years old this year. In celebration of the Song Poem’s centenary, it seemed fitting to showcase a modern example of the form. A few years I ago, I was surprised to find that Song Poems were still being sourced and recorded at all while watching the definitive documentary on the subject ‘Off The Charts: The Song Poem Story‘ – the stand out track from which is our chosen Song for today.

Joup’s Friday Album – Fourth Edition – Manic Street Preachers ‘The Holy Bible’

manix460I feel I’d be remiss in my responsibilities as Cultural Correspondent for the Divided Queendom if I didn’t represent some of the misunderstood (or externally ignored) classics this country has produced. I’m at a loss to think of too many that aren’t globally renowned on at least a cult level, but there is one that’s never far from my mind as deserving of greater recognition across the Atlantic.

The Sunday Song Poem – #1 Bill Joy ‘How Long Are You Staying?’

songpoem1 For those unfamiliar with the term, the Song Poem was an American phenomenon of long distance collaboration far predating, and out-weirding the hinterlands of the internet.  Those hokey ads in old comics, for outlandish products that couldn’t possibly do what they purported to? Imagine one of those ads asked you for poetry that they would, for a nominal fee, turn into a Chart topping hit single, the proceeds of which you could live off for the rest of your days, and you’re on the right track. In reality. the truth was alot closer to those ‘Make Your Own Music Video’ booths in a mall.

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