Sh!t Song Of The Week “(You Can Still) Rock In America”

 

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The Joup shit song of the week is “(You Can Still) Rock In America” by Night Ranger. I’m repulsed by their mega hit “Sister Christian” but I like to dig a little deeper because I know if a band is capable of writing one shitty song they probably have more. You can still rock in America according to the lyrics in this song which was released in 1983 during the-hey day of the Cold War. I feel this song was to remind people of their freedoms here in the U.S. as opposed to the Soviet Union where you could not rock at that time. However, when I hear such a dreadful song such as this one it makes me feel like maybe we have too much freedom? I am aware this song is dated and the genre an easy target but there are songs older than this that have withstood the test of time. This piece of shit is not one of those songs.

Sh!t Song Of The Week “Answering Machine”

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Today’s shit song of the week is Rupert Holmes’s “Answering Machine”. This song may have been the B-Side to “Escape (The Peña Colada Song)” which was used in the hilarious movie “Dirty Work” during a bar fight scene. Although I have used the song “Answering Machine” as my voice mail message one time as a goof, the chorus of the song is “leave your name and number and I’ll try to get back to you. You have 30 seconds to talk to me before we’re through”. It is a cocaine decision, light FM, shitty song and it deserves to be in the anals of Joup’s Sh!t Song Of The Week. Just give it a listen and tell me what you think after the beep.

The Joup Friday Album: Ronnie Wood – I’ve Got My Own Album To Do

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Ronnie Wood is a celebrated guitarist best known for his work as a bass guitarist and songwriter with The Jeff Beck group, vocalist and guitarist for The Faces and – finally – landing his dream job playing guitar and singing with The Rolling Stones (his favorite band). Ronnie Wood is a known figure in the world of rock and roll but is a very underappreciated songwriter and guitarist. Cry a river for Ronnie, right? Who cares? I do!

Sh!t Song Of The Week “Ride Like The Wind”

Screen Shot 2017-02-25 at 5.54.01 PMThe shit song of the week goes to the anticlimactic Christopher Cross song “Ride Like the Wind”. I really remember hearing it for the first time, as a kid shopping with my mom at a southwest side Chicago Zayre Superstore in 1983. A middle-aged store clerk was stocking the shelves with pet rocks and sizzle-lean bacon wearing brown slacks and white shirt. I noticed the guys name tag and it said his name was Marty and he said to me, “Hey Kid you like Christopher Cross”? I was really young and shy but I just kind of replied that I really didn’t know? He looked at me, kind of giggled and remarked “your to young of a kid to really enjoy good music just yet”. Well now flash forward I’m forty years old at the time of me writing this and I probably have been exposed to more music than most folks and I can safely say to Marty that age isn’t the problem man. Christopher Cross just simply bores the piss outta me. It reminds me of death and that if there is indeed an elevator to hell “Ride Like The Wind” would be blaring in a loop at a high decibel all the way down. The song also raises a question. If you could ride like the wind wouldn’t you expect a more aggressive or even a more provocative and magical sounding soundtrack? You be the judge but as far as I’m concerned “Ride Like The Wind” by Christopher cross is about as exciting as a foot powder festival. Enjoy!

Shit Song Of The Week “Bad Day” Daniel Powter

Screen Shot 2017-02-13 at 6.55.04 PMThis week’s Shit Song of the Week is way too easy I can already hear the complaints. However, instead of ripping on Daniel Powter for making this completely fabricated, pop turd I will instead simply try to convey how the song and video for ‘Had a bad Day’ makes me feel.

Sh!t Song Of The Week “I’m No Angel”

Playin_Up_A_Storm“Im No Angel” by Greg Allman is the shit song of the week. Right down to the lyrics “let me show you my tattoo” this song gives me personal images of seasoned, alcoholic bikers that would elect Ted Nugent for president if they could. Yea Gregg we know, you are bad-ass guy and this song probably paid for one divorce, three keys of slam and a new Soft tail Harley but it still lacks the integrity of “Tied to the Whipping Post” amongst other Allman Bros classics. If anything he is honest in telling the world he is no angel I am sure his insurance company is interested to know as well. The video is worth a watch because you can easily turn the sound down and stick in a song by Linyrd Skynard or David Allen Coe and nobody would know the difference. I once bought bunk hash off a guy in a forest preserve that looked like Gregg (maybe was him) and I recall this song wafting in the background next to the smell of the port-a-potty and really cheap Bar-S hot dogs that you buy at Family Dollar. I think his beer coozie said “My attitude is YOUR PROBLEM! ” that should have tipped me off? But live and learn. Enjoy!

Shit Song Of The Week

Ok so I picture a guy in a shitty motel watching his wedding video, empty bottle of Cutty Sark on the bed, his big toe on the trigger of the Mossberg shotgun. Dave Mason is an extremely talented musician and songwriter. He worked with the likes of Derek and the Dominos, Traffic, Delaney & Bonnie, Early Fleetwood Mac, just to name a few. Mason is a well respected man amongst his musician peers no argument there. “We just Disagree” just lacks what I like about Mason and the tone of the song evokes memories for me of shit hole bars on the southwest side of Chicago. Places where grown men drink their cock off at the bar and call you a fag for wearing a scarf in the winter. I’ve physically seen a chubby old punter cry in his beer to this song and it was off putting. I swore I would never let it happen to me and if it did I’ll be listening to Jeery Lee Lewis sing “You win Again” over Dave Mason’s “We just Disagree” Enjoy this weeks shit song. Sorry Dave we just disagree.

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